Well answers on a postcard as to where I have been recently!Yep that’s right Spain!Only kidding! I spent a rather nice couple of nights on a mini cruise heading to Amsterdam.
It was called a Hulloween mini cruise and I went along with a couple of friends.I actually did fancy dress me and a friend wanted to go as a Caveman and Cavewoman but my costume didn’t turn up..not halloweeny really but my costume if it had arrived had a really cute looking corset thing with it and I so wanted it!In the end we went as a vicar and a nun…I pulled off the innocent look really well and I would have used it on future bookings I reckon if my bloody wimple hadn’t blown off into the North sea! Bloody well windy on the top decks!However our other friends came as George and Zippy from Rainbow and looked fantastic (at one point me and George got giddy and dirty danced..imagine a nun doing George from behind..bit depraved really hehe)!
I have to say the mini cruises are really good value we had a Meatloaf tribute act on and a Rocky Horror show after and loads of good disco music from the house band…hopelessly tacky but great fun! And my friend even found pizza at 11pm for me as I was hungry from all the dancing.
The next morning we were woken up at 6am to catch the coach to Amsterdam for around 8am..yep you guessed it we all slept on the coach…I really don’t do mornings especially when I hadn’t stopped dancing until around 1am!
Now I had thought I wanted to do the culture side of Amsterdam but of course we wound up in the red light district…I have to say it really wasn’t my thing I mean aside from it being a busmans holiday for me it just struck me as a bit seedy and weird and not how I would like to escort at all.Each to their own but I prefer a bit of discretion and a nice, comfy apartment with a bed and home comforts to have fun in. I really could not imagine standing in a window being gawped at and then shutting a curtain and getting down to it on little more than a mattress with a urinal and a sink in the corner, it seemed soulless somehow and more like an approximation of the act rather than the mutual fun it can be.
I’m glad I saw it though…anyway worse than that we of course decided to go to a ‘cafe’ and try the goods….all I can say is never ever again…over there it is perfectly acceptable to buy a spliff or space cake except it isn’t Cannabis resin it is in fact horrendously strong Skunk. I managed a few puffs and just thought ‘yack’. I like to feel in control and assumed I would but I would just feel relaxed and giggly instead it felt trippy and strange and you felt paranoid because you were in a public place in an unfamiliar country.
After alot of wandering round and coffees to try and ‘sober’ up we visited the sex museum which was fun. It had alot of vintage porn and sex toys and just went to show that human beings and their desires change little over the centuries!
Back on the coach and then a relaxing evening in the chilled out bar in the boat where we had an excellent pianist and singer. I never understand why Simon Cowell makes digs to auditionees saying they should sing on a cruise ship, these people are quite often as good as some of the people in the charts.
So what did I learn on my travels? Well that I am probably a bit boring as next time I will go visit the Anne Frank museum and take a canal cruise!Oh and just because something is legally tolerated in a country it doesn’t mean it is any better. I am thinking of the red light district here mainly.I would much prefer for it to remain discrete and that ladies be allowed to share a flat to be safe. As for the skunk I reckon if kids were made to have an Amsterdam doobie they wouldn’t touch it ever again!!
Its good to be back folks in Leeds although its cold and damp! So come round and indulge in some discrete fun in my cosy bedroom with a proper shower where I can give you cuddles and kisses and a cuppa to warm you up!
Bibi x